Hello, my intended...

Sometimes, I wonder... How is it that people will collect a large assortment of 'problems' and then decide that they can't do anything to solve them? No matter how ridiculously simple the difficulty may be to rectify, these folks will steadfastly stick to their story - to the point of FIGHTING any attempt to intervene. 'You don't understand!' they wail. 'I can't do it!'. God help you if you're as stubborn as they are, because you're in for a bumpy go of it. The question is, WHY does this have to be? WHY is it that they're stuck in the muddy embankment of the road of life, and WHY don't they want to get out of it? WHY do they refuse to do even the most elementary things which could avert their having these problems?

I don't know...

That's not from lack of trying, mind. I spend much of my 'interpersonal' time in analysis of people's nuances, studiously cataloging their subtleties for use later. Generally speaking, people are pretty easy to deal with when you step back far enough to see the pattern. I can tell when people are lying, and pretty much anticipate how they will react based on how they usually react to similar situations. This is basically due to my rigidly logical nature, I suppose. See, I try to figure things out rationally... Find out why. How. That sort of shit. Sure, it's something of a controlling method to live one's life, but it's been working for me fine...

That is, until recently.

See, of all the things I learned about people in my logical, rational way of mentally dissecting their character, the biggest thing was that people are generally NOT logical, rational, or predictable. In fact, some people find out what you THINK they'll do, and do the exact opposite for spite. Spite's not covered under logic. Spite makes you do things that hurt yourself just because you think it'll hurt someone else MORE. Sometimes you're right, sure, but sometimes you're wrong and you're hurting yourself for nothing. You're causing yourself PAIN for NO REASON. I know this because I was on THAT end of the spectrum, too...

That is, until recently.

I must accept, firstly, that people are generally going to have a pile of problems that they're pretty comfortable with having. That they neither need nor want my 'help', and my attempts to give it because I think their problems are trivial in the 'grand scheme' show that I'm the dope pretty clear. In all honesty, how can I have the NERVE to act surprised when people drag their feet and fight me every step I make trying to guide them past their tiny little problems so they can handle the big scary ones the rest of us 'grownups' do? They don't WANT to face the big scary ones, pure and simple. They can deal with the tiny little ones, and if they don't, well who cares? They're TINY, LITTLE problems, right? In hindsight, I suppose the idea is that they're controlling which problems they have; which is pretty much the only level of control they're comfortable with. Deal with the devil they know, as it were... Sure, I think it's being foolish when you obsess about small shit and leave the big shit to get bigger, but that's ME. I can do that for ME. I never accepted that people just have to be left in what *I* might consider a 'fools paradise' until the big shit destroys them... I never accepted that people sometimes just don't want to be 'helped'...

That is, until recently.

Second, I must accept that I can't save anyone. Fuck, the truth is I can barely deal with my own shit. In theory, I suppose dealing with other people's tiny little problems made it easier for me to ignore my own giant problems. This reminds me of one of my favorite passages in the Bible... Matthew 7, 3-5... And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

That's one reason I like the Bible... It's full of useful little tidbits like that.

But what ARE my problems? Where's the beam in MY eye? At first, I couldn't tell you if it would win me a million. Why? I didn't know... I have SUSPICIONS, though. I believe one thing that squirrels the works is that I go into everything figuring that the other person is pretty much just looking for the best place to plant the knife. You know what happens? That's exactly what they do! The punchline? It SHOCKS me when it happens...

That is, until recently.

So what to do? What CAN I do?

I don't know...

Isn't that hilarious?

You're welcome. See you SOON.