So, the name was in... Now we needed some personality... The original Dark Angel character was sort of vampire-gothic, and not really all that 'over' compared to back in '95 (the UIndertaker's heydey). What to do? Bobo was 6'8" and over 330 lbs... In 'real' wrestling, people of that size tended to not speak much, and have maybe three total maneuvers in their arsenal, five tops... (Sid Vicious, Kevin Nash, Kane, 911, Undertaker etc.) So, in order to be over - and thus win - we had to put a new spin on the formula... But first, we need to understand the standard formula...

Normally, big monster types were always so 'tough' that they 'no-selled' just about everything. Which is to say, they tended to shrug off attacks that were supposed to hurt. Pretty normal, considering most of them don't anyway, but I digress... Further, since the 'monster' was generally some sort of 'animal', he tended to have someone with him that did all the talking, be it a manager/trainer/keeper/master/whatever, it was usually some 'evil' person that held sway over the big lug/s. Paul Ellering and the Road Warriors, Cyrus and Kurrgan, Jimmy Hart and the Natural Disasters, Kim Chee and Kamala/Uganda, Kevin Sullivan and anybody... and that 'trainer' did all the talking while the monster did his best menacing grunts and flexing. Now that we knew the formula for how everybody else did it, we could see where it could be 'tweaked'...

What if the big monster was a genius? Not Lanny Poffo reading poetry 'genius', mind you, but sharp as a tack and well spoken in the vein of a Hannibal Lector? Good for a start, but not enough... What if this big gorilla was also a worker? For the uninitiated, a 'worker' in wrestling terms is someone who entertains through spectacular ring finesse (Psicosis, Jushin Thunder Liger, El Hijo del Santos, Ultimo Dragon) moreso than 'on the stick' (cutting promos)... It was crazy. Unheard of. Impossible under any circumstances.

PERFECT.

Naturally, since Mr. Browne is a trained martial artist, he was pretty aware of what sort of things could do what sort of damage. Further, he is a former 'backyard wrestler', which means he and other people basically beat the crap out of each other for 'fun'. Tired of the staid set of moves, Mr. Browne called upon his vast inventive genius and created moves that were pretty impressive. He had long intended to enter the wrestling world himself, but to pay $3000-5000 to learn how to not laugh when some fat slob came out trying to look scary seemed excessive. Besides, the moves he invented were VERY dangerous, and thus ill-suited to American style. His 'gimmick' considering his vast knowledge and inventive genius unseen since Marquis DeSaad was 'The Man with 1,000 BANNED Moves' - including one so terrible that it would KILL you, dubbed 'Farewell to the Flesh'.

Naturally, these moves could not really be used, lest one go promptly to jail...

But ONLINE?

PERFECT.

Continue orFlee