Well, since everyone else has an opinion on the likes of MP3, I suppose I should bounce my own little spin on it...

First, in case you've lived under a rock or been cryogenically frozen for the last few years, a bit on what MP3 -is- seems to be in order... So be it. MP3 is a condensed file format that allows for music tracks from a CD to be squished down to a manageable size with imperceptible/minimal loss in quality. In fact, the gigantic Redbook Audio format used in the creation of compact discs can be whittled down to one-tenth it's size and less with loss that's only apparent to audiophiles with active imaginations (who care because they need to justify spending 10 grand on a stereo system), and dogs (who don't care). These files can be sent through the internet with relative ease, and music is available to all... A boon, yes?

Depends on who you are...

Superstar Rock-n-Roll Iconoclast

If you're a multi-millionaire rock star, you're against such an advance in technology because in your mind every pinhead who downloads your song is a step back from the down payment on your solid gold house. (Hi, Lars.) Of course, you put on a wounded puppy act and cry to the Senate Subcommittee that people who do such things are stealing food from your table, but let's be realistic... Any fool knows when a band/artist sells out - ahem, I mean becomes mainstream - that they get massive cash that they promptly piss away on drugs, award shows and similar flashing lights that signal the world you are suddenly 'better' than they. Are you now asking Joe Public for SYMPATHY? It is to laugh. Look in the dictionary between shit and syphillis the next time you want to find some sympathy, okay? If you want people to buy your records, kids, here's a hint...

Put more than one good song on it.

That's the issue... People are SICK of plunking down $12-18 on a CD based on the single being played on the radio, only to find out that the single is the only thing that was remotely worth listening to on an otherwise steaming pile of crap. I have over 110 CDs that contain ONE song and ten pieces of extra-chunky FECAL MATTER. Bah.

Now, you know you're not bad... Problem is, nobody ELSE does... The big record companies roundfile everything because they figure they've got PLENTY of prima-donna rockstars that are enough of a headache without adding YOU. The little record companies rape you to line their own pockets while you're still playing proms and dive bars. And nobody besides your complaining neighbors know you exist, and THEY wish you DIDN'T. I know, I know... If only people could hear what you can do, right? Every swinging dick is a hardcore fan that is just WAITING for a new golden god to worship, and it could be YOU. But getting on the radio is only possible with major record-studios pumping massive graft to the program directors and deejays to run the singles once an hour, so what to do?

Release a couple of your best tracks on MP3, of course. No expensive CD/tape manufacturing. Plenty of free exposure. And if you're REAL lucky, some industry flunkie will stumble across your track and send a memo that their bosses MIGHT read that says they should sign you. And once you're a Superstar Rock Iconoclast, you can do like they do and promptly forget where you came from and start bitching about how much money MP3 costs you... Everyboy wins. Spiffy.

You've tried everything... CD of the Month Clubs, radio preview, word of mouth, magazine reviews, the works - yet, you STILL wind up pissing your cash down the crapper for CDs that you wouldn't even use for a COASTER. If only there was some way that you could just take the GOOD songs and leave all that other misogynistic, self-aggrandizing, pseudo-highbrow crap where it is, right? But how? Well, if the record industry had any sense at all, they'd set up kiosks in every mall that let you pick the songs you want and make a CD nice and fresh that was - (gasp) - WORTH your money. But since they don't, you can't do anything about it..

Until NOW. See, doom and gloom and psychotic ravings aside, the music industry is a bigger sham than snake oil. Why else would something that costs under $1 to make be sold for $15, and everyone cries about how poor they are in a MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR market? What MP3 really does, folks, is remove the stacks of middlemen like peeling an onion, and the middlemen are shaking in their boots. The last thing they want is the CUSTOMER making decisions about what songs they should sell him/her. If anyone out there is older than the average teen, then you're probably experiencing deja vu at the whole thing...

Let me explain... The recording industry spends NOTHING on developing new technology. ZIP. If it were up to them, you'd be buying Madonna's latest on reel-to-reel. They prefer to wait for an emerging technology to come out, and then decry it as promoting piracy. Tape recorders? They tried to stop it. CDs? They tried to stop it. VHS? They tried to stop it. Now they want to try and finally win one with the MP3 'issue' until they finally wise up and embrace it, much as the other mediums. I don't like their chances, folks. Look at it rationally...

People grab their favorite songs all the time, and have done so for DECADES... Be it taping MTV videos, taping from the radio, or using the high speed dubbing feature on their tape decks. The music industry's projected 'loss' of income at this? Supposedly 10-50 BILLION per year. Pretty big numbers, eh? How does one come up with a number on the variable of UNSOLD units? Could it be that they multiply the amount of unsold items by some number? Nah, that takes math... So they make it up. You see, there is no way to determine loss when you can't determine the extent of it's reach - even with algebra you need at least TWO integers to find an unknown, so they just wing out a staggeringly high number and run with it as if it were written in stone.

Naturally, some of the brighter people recognize this frippery for what it is - or folks just read what we write (Hullo!). Now, for myself, I have to say that everyone has some valid points, but are taking them to militant extremes that just don't win any support for whatever side of the fence you're on. Sorry. I admit that I have sampled some songs from the likes of Napster that are on CDs that are out of print or just unavailable in general, but I also admit that I went from buying maybe one CD a month to buying one a week. This explains how, even with all this 'wanton piracy', record sales are UP from last year by 100 million various units, and it's not even the Christmas season yet...

Trust me, kids, it's not long before Columbia House and their ilk wise up and starts sending you 'custom CD' catalogs, with a website backup in case you'd rather burn it yourself and save on shipping. Until then, I'll just take it all with a grain of salt...

You're welcome... See you SOON.