Games People Play...



Hello, my intended...

Y'know, Bobo's not all seriousness... Sometimes, I even like to play a game.

Well, I like to TRY...

You know the last PC game I bought? Star Trek Armada... You know why? I forgot to send back that card to Columbia House... See, folks, game-wise the PC sucks like a Hoover and always will. Why do you think most people flock to emulation sites? But I digress...

Sure, you've got Doom and all the clones of same, but come on... It used to be you could get a game, install it, and then play. Not anymore... Now you gotta sign onto Heat, Gamespy, or someplace similar and pay ten bucks a month for the honor of having some little troglodyte that hasn't left his basement in four years frag you instantly on sight.

Same thing for online 'role-playing', such as Everquest and Ultima... If you bought in when it was in beta-testing, you MIGHT have a chance against these little feebs with corporate sponsors who lay in wait for your little guy to enter the realm so they can MASSACRE him/her. If not, forget it, because there's NO one-player mode for you to familiarize with the controls and maybe gain some levels so you're not IMMEDIATELY reduced to kibble by Skeeter the Avante Guard Against Newbie Invasion (AGANI, pronounced 'Agony' for obvious reasons)... No, he doesn't really exist... At least under THAT name, but I'm sure someone 3L33T (Elite) will pick it up toute suite... Let's not even get INTO the fact that alot of the long-time players are currently auctioning off their spare Magic Items and Castles on E-Bay for THOUSANDS of bucks.

And, personally, I can't understand why are there no WRESTLING games on the PC - unless you count that STEAMING cowflop 'WCW Nitro' from a couple years back. All these wrestling shows spend 10 minutes an hour MINIMUM plugging their websites, so they can't pretend that wrestling fans don't have computers... WTF? I guess they're scared we'll play the game instead of watching the shows. Considering how bad the shows are lately, that actually sounds logical... Heh.

You know why games on the PC suck, really? They're too busy trying to make the damn things compatible with all the different hardware combinations out there to bother to make it much more than piss-poor to play. Not that they succeed all that often on EITHER front... Don't get me wrong, but it used to be that PATCHES were for your PANTS, and they didn't exactly show the world how COOL you were. That's the thing, I think... What the world needs is an agreement from the hardware makers that states that they'll hold off for a year or so on 'innovating' in order to let the software makers get familiar enough with what's out there to... I dunno... Make something GOOD? In return for the shortfall loss, they can get a kickback from the software makers for giving them a chance to catch up on the configuration front and make 'killer-aps' that they otherwise couldn't. Don't think it'll work? Listen...

Look at the Playstation... When it first came out, you had complete SHYTE like Agile Warrior and whatnot that was basically 90% eye-candy on top of pure crap. A few years later, and there's BEAUTIFUL stuff like Parasite Eve 2. Co-Inky-Dink? No, clearly not. The reason? With a static (set, unchanging, written in stone) configuration on the hardware, the programmers are forced to streamline... Use skillful coding to make the system do all sorts of lovely things. Compare the best fighter of he Playstations's launch line-up (Battle Arena Toshinden) to the likes of Dead or Alive 2 or Tekken 3... Toshinden REALLY looks like crap and plays like it too when compared with such, right? Right. That's why console gaming will ALWAYS be better than PC gaming, PERIOD.

When the hardware doesn't change, the coding HAS TO; and practice makes perfect, or at least less sucky.

Now, Bobo has four computers in his house all networked together. But can I use more than one computer at a time? No, clearly not. Do they expect me to spend the money to get FOUR copies of the same title? Yes they do. Now, folks, I understand that in THEORY they lose the dough on the three copies for my house, but be reasonable! Why include options for playing on a home network and not allow more than one copy active at once? If you won't let someone install on more than one computer, then don't include the home network option... If you MUST have a home-network play mode, how about throwing in an extra disk? Hell, at least give me a bulk discount! They say that they do that kinda bass-ackward shyte to prevent piracy, but come on now...

Currently, recordable CDs are common, and recordable DVDs are competing with a Y2k version of VHS/Beta called DVD-RW/DVD-RAM, and the winner of that little arms race is pretty much going to be the one I -don't- buy; but I digress... Remind Bobo to tell you how he picked the SparQ over the Zip a couple years ago... Anyway, the technology is already WELL entrenched to prevent copying on any format above audio cassette (and they're still working on that, rest assured). Doubt me? Get two VCRs and try to copy a Disney flick- not that I recommend any of that saccharine coated butchery of FINE classic stories for use outside a landfill, but it's the easiest to get ahold of for this lesson... Now watch the copy. Bad picture on the copy tape? Audio fading in and out? That's called 'Macrovision' and it's a copy-block encoding that just about EVERYONE uses.

Consider the lowly Commodore 64 with it's 1Mhz speed, four-channel sound, 8 sprite onscreen max, and 5 1/4" floppy that held a staggering 165K, 330K if you notched them and used the flip side. IT had software that was all but IMPOSSIBLE to copy. This was achieved through things like error-mapping (purposely including errors on the disk so that copy software would refuse it), half-track writing (writing on the areas that are between the areas you're supposed to write on), and DONGLE (some weird gizmo that would HAVE to be connected to your compy for the software to work, period). Similar methods are in place to prevent copying software CDs, so the likelihood of the market being flooded by copies of legit software is slim. Spare me the doom and gloom about losing money, fellas, and spend some of that R&D dough on media-based protection. Spend some more on making a product that doesn't SUCK while you're at it. Then again, I'd settle on you making something that just does what it says on the BOX.

And something else they can learn from the Commodore... Those games might not have been flashy and full of 3D eye-candy, but there's something that the greater majority of them were...

FUN.

You're welcome... See you SOON.